Jill Prouty

Category: Uncategorized

• More Time, Memories

  Posted at 7:15 pm by jillprouty7, on December 31, 2018

  When people say they want more time, they often mean they want to make more memories doing the things that make them happy.

  

  Photo by Bruce Mars on Pexels.com

  That’s a tall order for a lot of us. Work, work, work, and family demands (not the fun kind) often get in the way of memory making moments, but all is not lost. Today being New Year’s Eve it seems like a good time to start thinking about what we’d like to change in our lives. Try asking yourself the following questions:

  When am I happy?

  • Family time.
  • Feeling fit & strong.   
  • Spending time outdoors.

  When am I not happy?

  • Bogged down with to-do lists.
  • Family is over-scheduled.
  • Work space a mess.

  Could money change any of this? If so, how much?

  • Hire handy-man, lawn/landscape maintenance(?)
  • Closet organizers

  Would waking up a half hour earlier help?

  • Bill paying, emailing, etc.
  • Quiet time for myself.
  • Less rushed.

  Now think about how you can prioritize activities each day so that you spend more time doing the things that make you happy. Unsure of where to start? Turn off the TV, cell phone, and any other time-sucking gadgets and see what happens…

  Happy New Year!!!

  Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged family, free time, me time, memories, mental health, new year, time management, unplug, unplugged

• Get Out of Your Head

  Posted at 7:00 pm by jillprouty7, on July 29, 2018

  

  Photo by Tookapic on Pexels.com

  A recent study published in The BMJ reports that deaths related to cirrhosis increased 65% from 1999-2016. Cirrhosis, irreversible scarring of the liver, has many causes, including alcohol consumption, obesity, nonalcoholic fatty liver disease and hepatitis. Cirrhosis can lead to liver cancer and liver failure, both of which can be fatal.

  It caused me to think back on what Dr. Sanjay Gupta said on Anderson Cooper’s Special Town Hall: Finding Hope, Battling America’s Suicide Crisis. Gupta said that life expectancy as a whole in the United States had plateaued and dropped over the last couple of years. The most common causes of premature death for the middle-aged white working class population were liver cirrhosis, typically due to alcoholism, opioid overdose and suicide – the “deaths of despair.”

  

  Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

  I think most people have felt despair at one time or another, but how we deal with it can make or break us. I used to deal with stress by overeating. Some people turn to alcohol. But those “fixes” are temporary and eventually leave a person feeling worse than they did to begin with. When I began my weight loss journey in early 2014, I discovered vigorous exercise to be a powerful antidepressant. The higher the intensity, the more feel-good staying power. Spin classes were especially effective.

  Despite being a self-avowed “non-runner,” I decided to give running a try with the goal of completing a half marathon in 2015. For a long time I listened to music while I ran, creating playlists that motivated me to get out there and get it done. On the occasions when my phone wasn’t charged, my runs were pure drudgery. Then a month or so ago I had a late-night run in with a creep outside of my favorite grocery store which caught me totally off guard. As a result, I decided to give up listening to music on my runs so that I could be more aware of my surroundings. I became almost hyper-aware of the sounds around me – the chipmunk in the leaves, the birds in the trees, the rhythm of my footsteps. To my surprise, what I once considered drudgery became my calm. I was able to “get out of my head” and just be. It’s a glorious feeling.

  I’m not suggesting that running, or any kind of exercise, alone is the cure for all that ills us; but it can play an important role in one’s overall plan to getting and staying well, both physically and mentally.

  For more about the mental health benefits of running, I recommend Scott Douglas’ new book, Running is My Therapy: Relieve Stress and Anxiety, Right Depression, Ditch Bad Habits, and Live Happier (The Experiment, 2018).
  Posted in blog, books, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged alcoholism, anxiety relief, cirrhosis, depression, despair, fatty liver, fitness, happiness, mental health, mental illness, obesity, running, stress, stress relief

• Blueberrying – A Family Tradition

  Posted at 1:54 am by jillprouty7, on July 19, 2018

  

  My great-grandparents and family.

  Family traditions have played an important part in my life. They’ve been a source of grounding for me, especially during times of stress. They provide the touchstones that remind me of who I am and where I’ve been.

  Even though my kids (ages 12 & 14) tire of listening to me tell them family stories, I continue to tell them anyway. Perhaps it’s because they only have one living grandparent that I feel I’m the torch bearer of family tradition, but I want them to feel a sense of being part of something larger.

  Our biennial trip to Maine is something that brings me peace and happiness because of the memories associated with it. The love of my grandparents, playing with my cousins, being at the lake, picking blueberries…these things remind me of some of the happiest and carefree times in my life. I’m thankful that my kids (as well as my husband) seem to enjoy the trip as much as I do, each for different reasons. But it all boils down to something many seem to have lost in our technologically advanced, fast-paced lives – a sense of connectedness and togetherness – and that we are loved.

  

  My oldest getting his first taste of wild blueberries.

   

   

  Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged belonging, family, family heritage, family tradition, maine, wild blueberries

• What Makes Me Happy

  Posted at 9:04 pm by jillprouty7, on July 9, 2018

  After a glorious 4th of July week, I’ve been reflecting on what made me so happy about it. I’ve come up with my recipe for happiness –

  Time with family:

  I love doing things as a family. Sometimes it’s going to see a new movie together on a Sunday night when the theater is mostly empty. Sometimes it’s getting everyone in the pool on a sunny afternoon. I also love one-on-one time when I can really connect with people. This past Friday night my husband and I went, sans kids, to Line Creek Brewing Co. where we enjoyed drinks with friends. Saturday night my youngest son and I went to see Hairspray at The Legacy Theatre. It was a fantastic show, by the way. Go see it! Then Sunday night my oldest and I went to the Georgia Aquarium together and did the “Behind the Seas” tour. It’s Monday morning and I’m still giddy from the weekend!

  

  Whale Shark in Ocean Voyager tank.

  Time outdoors:

  Even though the weather was somewhat sketchy this weekend, I was able to get lots of pool time in. Weather permitting, I spend time outdoors every day. Weekdays I often use my lunch hour to go for a walk or run. Getting outdoors for an hour mid-day recharges me for the afternoon. It also helps me clear my head. I’m looking forward to our biennial trip to Maine when we spend a week on a quiet lake and only go inside to sleep.

  Physical fitness:

  I love being physically fit. I invested in my health in 2014 when I started Weight Watchers and began attending classes at the gym on a regular basis. I love the feeling of accomplishment at the end of an hour long Spin class or a long run. Bad ass is what I call it. It makes me feel alive in a way nothing else can. Late Sunday morning my husband and I went on an four mile run. It was cloudy and there was a nice breeze. Because of the cooperative weather, we stretched it another half mile.

  

  Tri-Cities 10K Race

  Creative time:

  Doing what I’m doing right now. Writing. Thinking. It feels good. I wish I could do it more.

  Learning:

  Listening to NPR in the car. Reading a good book. Attending a lecture or workshop. Decatur Book Festival is around the corner!

  What makes you happy?

  Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, happiness, learning, mental health, outdoors, outside, physical fitness, reading, self help

• Are We Less Happy?

  Posted at 9:49 pm by jillprouty7, on June 25, 2018

  Anderson Cooper hosted a CNN Special Town Hall last night: Finding Hope, Battling America’s Suicide Crisis. Much of the hour was spent talking to survivors of suicide (Anderson’s brother, Carter, took his own life 30 years ago) as well as survivors of suicide attempts.

  

  Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

  However, the standout of the evening for me was CNN’s Dr. Sanjay Gupta who shared that life expectancy as a whole in the United States has plateaued and dropped over the last couple of years, with the middle aged white working class population being hit the hardest. He went on to say that the most common causes of premature death for this segment of the population were liver cirrhosis, typically due to alcoholism, opioid overdose and suicide. He called them the “deaths of despair.”

  The Town Hall was followed by the last episode of Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown, in which he travels with friend and film director Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan) to Bhutan.

  

  Photo by Mikes Photos on Pexels.com

  The small, mostly Buddhist country is the originator of Gross National Happiness (GNH), a philosophy which might seem strange given that Bhutanese culture expects one to think about death five times a day. How can they be so happy when they think about death every day? Those of us who’ve experienced loss up close know that being familiar with death makes us appreciate life all the more. Suddenly having the latest and greatest whatever doesn’t mean much anymore and we’re able to better focus on what gives our lives meaning. We want to live the best lives we can as a way of honoring those we’ve lost.

  The show ended with Bourdain and Aronofsky stopping at the Burning Lake, one of the most sacred sites in Bhutan, to leave a traditional spiritual offering honoring the dead. The men sat and reflected on their trip, wondering what the future would bring for Bhutan, a country with little modernization. Historically, transportation in Bhutan has been difficult, if not downright dangerous, due to the unstable geology and extremely high (and narrow) passes. As they build new roads bypassing some of the more dangerous areas and shortening trips times, the friends wondered what would happen to the country that Bourdain likened to Shangri-La? An end to innocence? Materialism and everything that comes with it? A lower GNH?

  I was left with my own questions:

  Do the stresses of modern life fuel the unsettled mind?

  Has modern life outpaced the evolution of our species?

  Is our fast-paced lifestyle a contributing factor in the rise in suicides in the United States?

  Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged anderson cooper, Anthony Bourdain, bhutan, buddhism, despair, finding hope, gross national happiness, materialism, modern life, modernity, sanjay gupta, stress, suicide, suicide crisis

• Life Saving Books

  Posted at 3:41 pm by jillprouty7, on June 23, 2018

  A friend sent me a link to an Opinion column in the New York Times from June 16, 2018 – What Kept Me From Killing Myself by novelist and Iraq War veteran, Kevin Powers. Powers, who in 2005 was suffering from depression and possible PTSD, found his will to live again in books. His life-affirming experience began with reading the words of poet Dylan Thomas. Powers writes of the experience:

  “For the first time in a long while I recognized myself in another, and somehow that simple tether allowed me to slowly pull myself away from one of the most terrifying beliefs common to the kind of ailment I’m describing: that one is utterly alone, uniquely so, and that this condition is permanent.”

  

  Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

  Books have meant a great deal to me as well. I don’t always plan it, but somehow the right book always seems to end up in my hands. As I type this, I can think of several books that saw me through challenging times in my life from Paula Danziger’s The Pistachio Prescription that I read as a pre-pubescent middle-schooler to Wally Lamb’s She’s Come Undone that I read as I began my post-college adult life. Then there was Marly Swick’s Evening News, a novel about a family torn apart after an accidental shooting. It was the last book I read before my mother took her own life. The book reminded me, amidst our own pain, that our family, too, would survive.

  What books have carried you through difficult times?

  Posted in blog, books, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged books, depression, ptsd, reading, suicide

• Suicide, God, and Stigma

  Posted at 2:38 am by jillprouty7, on June 15, 2018

  After the heavy social media coverage of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain last week, I wondered what more I could possibly add to the conversation. Then I read a terrible blog post in The Federalist by Caroline D’Agati claiming that suicide is a reaction to meaninglessness in life that only God can fill. Interpretation: Less God, more suicides.

  

  Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

  Fact: There is no evidence that people who are religious are less likely than anyone else to suffer from depression or to take their own life. Suicide is not about religion, or the lack thereof. It’s also not about morality. It’s about psychological suffering so deep few can understand.

  Most suffers don’t want to expose loved ones to the dark thoughts plaguing their minds, even though that is exactly what they should do. My mother tried her best to share her thoughts and feelings with us and when she did it was truly terrifying. And we were only peeking over the edge of the abyss, not staring into it upon waking every day. Of course, she had many reasons for living and often remarked on them, as did Anthony Bourdain.

  So we’ve established that the lack of God in one’s life isn’t the cause of the rise in suicides. So what is? Despite suicide being the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, the National Institutes of Health spent more money researching dietary supplements than it did suicide and suicide prevention. Why aren’t we dedicating more resources to fight suicide? The answer is stigma.

  What can you do to help? Stop with the judgment. Suicide has nothing to do with personal weakness, selfishness, or lack of faith. So just stop it already. Even better – correct others when you hear similar negative messages. It is not at all helpful in preventing suicides. In fact, it does just the opposite. It adds to the despair of the afflicted. Stop being part of of the problem.

  Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Anthony Bourdain, depression, Kate Spade, psychological suffering, stigma, suicide, suicide and God, suicide and religion, suicide prevention

• Suicide on the Rise, Why?

  Posted at 4:10 am by jillprouty7, on June 9, 2018

  

  Photo by Julie Viken on Pexels.com

  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) published a report today showing a 30% increase in U.S. suicide rates since 1999. The deaths this week of designer Kate Spade and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain put an exclamation point on the issue. What exactly is going on?

  The CDC made a point to distinguish the many reasons for suicide. Although suicide is typically understood to be associated with a known mental illness, many happen without warning – 54%. The report found that these people had other issues including relationship problems, health problems, financial problems, or some other crisis that precipitated the event.

  I’m not convinced you can completely separate the two. A crisis in someone’s life can be a trigger for depression, which is a mental illness; but, I think the point is that 54% of the time a suicide happens without any warning. Which brings me to the next point: guns. According to the report, guns were the most common method for suicide, used by almost half of the people who died. Suicide tends to be a rash decision, a brief moment of utter despair that will pass given enough time. Not having immediate access to a lethal weapon can give a desperate person time to call someone. We must find common ground between the Second Amendment and the health and safety of our loved ones.

  My mother’s suicide was the type resulting from a known mental illness for which she was seeking treatment, major depression. She is proof that knowing about the illness and getting every treatment available doesn’t guarantee survival. The typical treatment for depression is SSRI therapy (Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc.), which has shown to be ineffective for many. SSRI’s have been available for 30+ years now. Perhaps this report highlights the ineffectiveness of the SSRI revolution?

  I’ve blogged about the recent trials being done using psilocybin “magic” mushrooms, LSD, and other psychedelic drugs for the treatment of depression and other mental illnesses that are showing great results. The back to back (to back) news this week highlights that FDA approval of these drugs can’t come soon enough.

  Posted in blog, books, drug therapies, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Anthony Bourdain, antidepressants, CDC, depression, Kate Spade, mental health, mental illness, psilocybin, psychedelics, SSRI, suicide

• Remember All of the Fallen

  Posted at 7:31 pm by jillprouty7, on May 27, 2018

  

  Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

  As we remember our fallen soldiers on Memorial Day, I also want to take time to remember the service men and women, both active duty and veterans, who die by suicide every year – estimated at 22 a day.

  Military suicide is a complex issue. Many assume the high suicide rate is due to the stresses of war. While that may be true for many, a third or more are done by those who have never been deployed.

  It is difficult, if not impossible, to pinpoint the “why” of the high suicide rate in the military. Among active duty service members, young men age 18-24 seem to be most at risk. Many married young and have financial or personal problems coupled with the stress of military life. While help is available, many service members worry about disclosing psychological problems and how it might affect career advancement.

  Veterans are at the highest risk in the year after they leave service – about 1½ to 2 times as likely to kill themselves as those on active duty. Why? Sebastian Junger argues in his book, Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging (Twelve, 2016), that the lack of community or shared experience on the “outside” is a driving force in the high suicide rate. He notes that in the nation of Israel, where military service is compulsory, the suicide rate is very low in comparison. Conventional wisdom says we should treat veterans as heroes, but Junger posits that it only alienates them further – that what veterans need most is to feel like they belong.

  StoryCorps’ Military Voices Initiative records stories from members of the U.S. military and their families. The story of Army Spc. Robert Joseph Allen who took his own life while serving in the U.S. military in 2012 is one of those stories. Let us remember all of our fallen veterans this Memorial Day.

   

  Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged memorial day, military fallen, suicide, veteran suicide, veterans

• Flowers Appear

  Posted at 5:51 am by jillprouty7, on May 21, 2018

  I got up early on Saturday morning with the intention of going to the gym, but my clothes were still damp in the dryer, so I checked in on the royal wedding just as Prince William and Prince Harry were arriving at Windsor Castle. The cloudless day, the blue skies, and the lush green countryside made for the perfect backdrop. Watching the two young men walk to the chapel side by side, I couldn’t help but think of their late mother Diana, Princess of Wales. I’m sure she was on their minds as well.

  I was particularly touched by the reading given by Diana’s sister, Lady Jane Fellowes, from the Song of Solomon:

  “My beloved speaks and says to me: ‘Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtle-dove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.’

  Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of one’s house, it would be utterly scorned.”

  I love the idea of love transcending death – the love of those who’ve passed written on our hearts for eternity. The reading also reminded me of Ecclesiastes 3 and how there is a time for everything: a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. The world watched Prince Harry struggle after the death of his mother, but Saturday, May 19, 2018, was his day in the sun and I think everyone watching on the “telly” felt it too.

  I’ve been watching a pair of bluebirds who’ve been making a home in a birdhouse in our backyard since late March. Yesterday, for the first time, I heard the hatchlings inside! I also found an abandoned egg left on the ground beneath the birdhouse. After a little research, I discovered it was most likely not viable. But oh, the promise of those hatchlings! My own two princes came outside to listen with me. I couldn’t help but think, “The time of singing has come…”

  Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged death of a parent, diana, love, prince harry, princess of wales, royal wedding, song of solomon

• Recent Posts

  • Nature vs Nurture
  • More Time, Memories
  • Get Out of Your Head
  • Blueberrying – A Family Tradition
  • What Makes Me Happy

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