Jill Prouty

On motherhood, mental illness, and the importance of memory
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    • More Time, Memories

      Posted at 7:15 pm by jillprouty7, on December 31, 2018

      When people say they want more time, they often mean they want to make more memories doing the things that make them happy.

      photo of woman using her laptop

      Photo by Bruce Mars on Pexels.com

      That’s a tall order for a lot of us. Work, work, work, and family demands (not the fun kind) often get in the way of memory making moments, but all is not lost. Today being New Year’s Eve it seems like a good time to start thinking about what we’d like to change in our lives. Try asking yourself the following questions:

      When am I happy?

      • Family time.
      • Feeling fit & strong.   
      • Spending time outdoors.

      When am I not happy?

      • Bogged down with to-do lists.
      • Family is over-scheduled.
      • Work space a mess.

      Could money change any of this? If so, how much?

      • Hire handy-man, lawn/landscape maintenance(?)
      • Closet organizers

      Would waking up a half hour earlier help?

      • Bill paying, emailing, etc.
      • Quiet time for myself.
      • Less rushed.

      Now think about how you can prioritize activities each day so that you spend more time doing the things that make you happy. Unsure of where to start? Turn off the TV, cell phone, and any other time-sucking gadgets and see what happens…

      Happy New Year!!!

      Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged family, free time, me time, memories, mental health, new year, time management, unplug, unplugged
    • Blueberrying – A Family Tradition

      Posted at 1:54 am by jillprouty7, on July 19, 2018
      PD_0129

      My great-grandparents and family.

      Family traditions have played an important part in my life. They’ve been a source of grounding for me, especially during times of stress. They provide the touchstones that remind me of who I am and where I’ve been.

      Even though my kids (ages 12 & 14) tire of listening to me tell them family stories, I continue to tell them anyway. Perhaps it’s because they only have one living grandparent that I feel I’m the torch bearer of family tradition, but I want them to feel a sense of being part of something larger.

      Our biennial trip to Maine is something that brings me peace and happiness because of the memories associated with it. The love of my grandparents, playing with my cousins, being at the lake, picking blueberries…these things remind me of some of the happiest and carefree times in my life. I’m thankful that my kids (as well as my husband) seem to enjoy the trip as much as I do, each for different reasons. But it all boils down to something many seem to have lost in our technologically advanced, fast-paced lives – a sense of connectedness and togetherness – and that we are loved.

      blueberry

      My oldest getting his first taste of wild blueberries.

       

       

      Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged belonging, family, family heritage, family tradition, maine, wild blueberries
    • What Makes Me Happy

      Posted at 9:04 pm by jillprouty7, on July 9, 2018

      After a glorious 4th of July week, I’ve been reflecting on what made me so happy about it. I’ve come up with my recipe for happiness –

      Time with family:

      I love doing things as a family. Sometimes it’s going to see a new movie together on a Sunday night when the theater is mostly empty. Sometimes it’s getting everyone in the pool on a sunny afternoon. I also love one-on-one time when I can really connect with people. This past Friday night my husband and I went, sans kids, to Line Creek Brewing Co. where we enjoyed drinks with friends. Saturday night my youngest son and I went to see Hairspray at The Legacy Theatre. It was a fantastic show, by the way. Go see it! Then Sunday night my oldest and I went to the Georgia Aquarium together and did the “Behind the Seas” tour. It’s Monday morning and I’m still giddy from the weekend!

      IMG_20180708_194629055
      Whale Shark in Ocean Voyager tank.

      Time outdoors:

      Even though the weather was somewhat sketchy this weekend, I was able to get lots of pool time in. Weather permitting, I spend time outdoors every day. Weekdays I often use my lunch hour to go for a walk or run. Getting outdoors for an hour mid-day recharges me for the afternoon. It also helps me clear my head. I’m looking forward to our biennial trip to Maine when we spend a week on a quiet lake and only go inside to sleep.

      Physical fitness:

      I love being physically fit. I invested in my health in 2014 when I started Weight Watchers and began attending classes at the gym on a regular basis. I love the feeling of accomplishment at the end of an hour long Spin class or a long run. Bad ass is what I call it. It makes me feel alive in a way nothing else can. Late Sunday morning my husband and I went on an four mile run. It was cloudy and there was a nice breeze. Because of the cooperative weather, we stretched it another half mile.

      IMG_20180505_095845795_HDR
      Tri-Cities 10K Race

      Creative time:

      Doing what I’m doing right now. Writing. Thinking. It feels good. I wish I could do it more.

      Learning:

      Listening to NPR in the car. Reading a good book. Attending a lecture or workshop. Decatur Book Festival is around the corner!

      What makes you happy?

      Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, happiness, learning, mental health, outdoors, outside, physical fitness, reading, self help
    • Say Yes

      Posted at 2:22 am by jillprouty7, on May 14, 2018

      Mother’s Day is always a little bit sad for me because my mom isn’t here. I especially hurt for my kids who don’t have the privilege of having a living grandmother. However, her absence is what drives me to try to be the very best mom for her grandsons that I can be.

      IMG_20180424_110106344_HDR

      One way I do that is by encouraging them to be bold and say yes to things that might be a little bit scary and out of their comfort zone. My youngest son is a theater geek and one of the sayings that they use in his acting classes is, “Say yes and see what happens.” Especially when doing improvisation, saying “no” stops the action and kills a scene, but a “yes” is full of possibilities.

      Some of my best memories of my mother where times when she did something out of the ordinary, like the time she and a friend (the mother of my best friend) showed up at our school and checked us out unannounced. We both arrived at the front office wondering why we’d been called out of class only to see her mother pull up in her little silver Honda Civic with my mother riding shotgun. They took us on a little impromptu road trip, which I can almost guarantee wasn’t my mother’s idea. Spontaneity was not something that came natural to her, but she admired it in others.

      Last month we spent a few days in Isle of Palms, South Carolina. My 12 year old and I had a morning to ourselves while the others went fishing. What did we do? We rented a moped and explored the island. We even buzzed over to Sullivan’s Island. As we pulled out of the parking lot, my son yelled, “This is kind of scary!” I said, “Yeah, but it’s kind of fun too, isn’t it?” He shouted, “Yes!” I could almost hear my mother saying, Look at them go!

      This year I’ve decided to take SCUBA lessons with my oldest son. He’s been asking to do it for a year or more and I’ve put it off because it’s something I’m not particularly eager to do. He knows this, which is all the more reason for me to do it.

      I’m going to say yes and see what happens.

      Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

      Gardening

      Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, mother's day, motherhood, mothers
    • Book Review: Imagine Me Gone

      Posted at 5:22 am by jillprouty7, on April 23, 2018

      imagineLovers of literature know that great fiction always reveals truth. It enables us to see ourselves and our experiences, both good and bad, within the world at large without fear of personal exposure. When I read the publisher’s summary of Adam Haslett’s Imagine Me Gone (Little, Brown, 2016), I recognized a family like much like my own and knew it was a book I had to read.

      Imagine Me Gone explores the devastating toll of mental illness on both the sufferers and the loved ones who care for them. The opening scene is a flashback to a death, hinting at a suicide. The feeling of dread made me put the book down for a couple of days until I felt ready to forge on. I’m glad I did.

      Patriarch John suffers from bouts of major depression, something his girlfriend Margaret only becomes aware of when he is hospitalized during their engagement. She decides to stay the course and marry him anyway. Their marriage produces three children: Michael, Celia, and Alec, who each learn to cope in their own way with their father’s mood disorder and the emotional and financial strain it puts on their family. The eldest, Michael, is plagued by severe anxiety as well, which intensifies as he enters adulthood.

      Haslett tells the story in alternating points of view by all five members of the family. It isn’t an easy read, but his writing is as real as it gets when describing the family’s anguish. At its core, Imagine Me Gone considers the lasting effects of mental illness and suicide on a family as they attempt to move past it and find meaning in their lives.

      Imagine Me Gone was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and long-listed for the National Book Award and the Andrew Carnegie Medal.

      Posted in blog, books | 0 Comments | Tagged book reviews, depression, family, mental illness, suicide
    • Memories Old and New

      Posted at 6:54 pm by jillprouty7, on April 15, 2018

      magnetAre you hanging on to meaningful objects such as old letters or photos, costume jewelry, fabric pieces, and the like? Things that have no real purpose anymore, but you can’t bear to throw them away because of the memories attached to them? It’s time to pull those treasured objects out and think about ways of repurposing them for use in the present. A great resource for ideas is a wonderful book by Allison Gilbert, Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive. On the right is what Gilbert calls a memory magnet. I made it using a copy of an old photo (never use an original) of my grandparents and a 3 x 3 clear epoxy sticker square. So simple! The hardest part was cutting the photo to size. I keep the magnet on a file cabinet in my office at work and it makes me happy every time I look at it.

      I have a friend who hired a local jewelry maker to create a necklace for her incorporating old pins and mismatched earrings from various family members who had passed. The result was a one-of-a-kind conversation piece that she wears often.

      What objects have you been hanging onto that have meaning?

       

      Posted in blog | 2 Comments | Tagged crafting, crafts, family, memory, memory crafts, repurposing
    • Recent Posts

      • Nature vs Nurture
      • More Time, Memories
      • Get Out of Your Head
      • Blueberrying – A Family Tradition
      • What Makes Me Happy
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