Jill Prouty

On motherhood, mental illness, and the importance of memory
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    • Can suicide be prevented?

      Posted at 4:22 pm by jillprouty7, on September 19, 2016
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      Butterfly release at SPAN-GA Walk in Newnan, 9/10/16. Photo by Maggie Barrett.

      It always disturbs me when I see well-meaning suicide prevention advocates make statements such as, “Suicide is 100% preventable.” Why? Because it simply isn’t true.

      I get it. I used to be one of those people too. When I’d read of someone who had killed themselves I’d say things like, “Why didn’t they get the help they needed? Where were their families?”

      Here is the truth: Many suicides are preventable. There is no doubt about that. However, sometimes a person can have all the best treatments: the latest and greatest meds; in-patient and/or out-patient treatment (or a combination thereof); electroconvulsive therapy; as well as a great support team at home. And it can still happen.

      Up to 10% of major depression sufferers do not respond to treatment. That isn’t to say that we should give up on them. We need to be ever-vigilant with those at risk. But we also need to be careful not to assign blame to anybody when suicide does happen.

      Making unqualified statements is a disservice to survivors of suicide. Grieving the suicide of a loved one is like walking through a land mine – the second guessing, the regrets. I’ve been there. In the months following my mother’s suicide, I followed every alternate path trying to come up with a different ending, but I kept coming back to this: Unless you put someone in a straight jacket, lock them up, and force feed them intravenously, there are no guarantees.

      To survivors of suicide – I think I have a somewhat unique perspective as my mother was conscious for almost 24 hours after she fatally injured herself and was able to share a few things, most importantly this: It isn’t your fault.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments | Tagged depression, grief, mental illness, suicide, suicide prevention month, survivors of suicide
    • World Suicide Prevention Day

      Posted at 9:21 pm by jillprouty7, on September 13, 2016

      September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day and I marked the occasion this year by participating in a walk sponsored by Georgia Suicide Prevention Action Nework (SPAN-GA) in Newnan. The funds raised for the event support Camp SOS, a camp for families who have lost a loved one to suicide. I know from experience that grief after a suicide can be isolating. Friends and family often run for the hills, not knowing what to do or say. When I read about the event in our local newspaper I felt called to participate. I was glad I did.

      I met some wonderful people at the walk, including a little girl (and her grandmother) who had attended Camp SOS. Grandma said the camp had been a blessing to her granddaughter and helped bring her out of her “shell” after her father’s suicide. Her testimony was exactly what I needed to hear.

      memory-tiles

      Memory tiles.

      One of my favorite activities at the event was making a memory tile. They supplied the 4 x 4 tiles and Mod Podge. All we had to bring was a photo. I used a copy of a black and white photo of my mother at 5 or 6 years old. (Walgreens makes 4 x 4 squares. I ordered online and it was ready for pickup in an hour.)

      The walk itself was about 2.5 miles. Great for all ages. At the conclusion of the walk, organizers handed out envelopes containing butterflies that were released as part of the closing ceremony. My butterfly took its time circling my head, dipping in between others standing nearby, only to come back to me again before finally flying off for good. A beautiful morning – one I won’t soon forget.

       

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged depression, grief, memory, mental illness, suicide
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