Jill Prouty

On motherhood, mental illness, and the importance of memory
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    • Get Out of Your Head

      Posted at 7:00 pm by jillprouty7, on July 29, 2018
      cold alcohol drink glass

      Photo by Tookapic on Pexels.com

      A recent study published in The BMJ reports that deaths related to cirrhosis increased 65% from 1999-2016. Cirrhosis, irreversible scarring of the liver, has many causes, including alcohol consumption, obesity, nonalcoholic fatty liver disease and hepatitis. Cirrhosis can lead to liver cancer and liver failure, both of which can be fatal.

      It caused me to think back on what Dr. Sanjay Gupta said on Anderson Cooper’s Special Town Hall: Finding Hope, Battling America’s Suicide Crisis. Gupta said that life expectancy as a whole in the United States had plateaued and dropped over the last couple of years. The most common causes of premature death for the middle-aged white working class population were liver cirrhosis, typically due to alcoholism, opioid overdose and suicide – the “deaths of despair.”

      dawn dusk forest grass

      Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

      I think most people have felt despair at one time or another, but how we deal with it can make or break us. I used to deal with stress by overeating. Some people turn to alcohol. But those “fixes” are temporary and eventually leave a person feeling worse than they did to begin with. When I began my weight loss journey in early 2014, I discovered vigorous exercise to be a powerful antidepressant. The higher the intensity, the more feel-good staying power. Spin classes were especially effective.

      Despite being a self-avowed “non-runner,” I decided to give running a try with the goal of completing a half marathon in 2015. For a long time I listened to music while I ran, creating playlists that motivated me to get out there and get it done. On the occasions when my phone wasn’t charged, my runs were pure drudgery. Then a month or so ago I had a late-night run in with a creep outside of my favorite grocery store which caught me totally off guard. As a result, I decided to give up listening to music on my runs so that I could be more aware of my surroundings. I became almost hyper-aware of the sounds around me – the chipmunk in the leaves, the birds in the trees, the rhythm of my footsteps. To my surprise, what I once considered drudgery became my calm. I was able to “get out of my head” and just be. It’s a glorious feeling.

      I’m not suggesting that running, or any kind of exercise, alone is the cure for all that ills us; but it can play an important role in one’s overall plan to getting and staying well, both physically and mentally.

      For more about the mental health benefits of running, I recommend Scott Douglas’ new book, Running is My Therapy: Relieve Stress and Anxiety, Right Depression, Ditch Bad Habits, and Live Happier (The Experiment, 2018).

      Posted in blog, books, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged alcoholism, anxiety relief, cirrhosis, depression, despair, fatty liver, fitness, happiness, mental health, mental illness, obesity, running, stress, stress relief
    • Life Saving Books

      Posted at 3:41 pm by jillprouty7, on June 23, 2018

      A friend sent me a link to an Opinion column in the New York Times from June 16, 2018 – What Kept Me From Killing Myself by novelist and Iraq War veteran, Kevin Powers. Powers, who in 2005 was suffering from depression and possible PTSD, found his will to live again in books. His life-affirming experience began with reading the words of poet Dylan Thomas. Powers writes of the experience:

      “For the first time in a long while I recognized myself in another, and somehow that simple tether allowed me to slowly pull myself away from one of the most terrifying beliefs common to the kind of ailment I’m describing: that one is utterly alone, uniquely so, and that this condition is permanent.”

      adult book daylight hand

      Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

      Books have meant a great deal to me as well. I don’t always plan it, but somehow the right book always seems to end up in my hands. As I type this, I can think of several books that saw me through challenging times in my life from Paula Danziger’s The Pistachio Prescription that I read as a pre-pubescent middle-schooler to Wally Lamb’s She’s Come Undone that I read as I began my post-college adult life. Then there was Marly Swick’s Evening News, a novel about a family torn apart after an accidental shooting. It was the last book I read before my mother took her own life. The book reminded me, amidst our own pain, that our family, too, would survive.

      What books have carried you through difficult times?

      Posted in blog, books, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged books, depression, ptsd, reading, suicide
    • Suicide, God, and Stigma

      Posted at 2:38 am by jillprouty7, on June 15, 2018

      After the heavy social media coverage of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain last week, I wondered what more I could possibly add to the conversation. Then I read a terrible blog post in The Federalist by Caroline D’Agati claiming that suicide is a reaction to meaninglessness in life that only God can fill. Interpretation: Less God, more suicides.

      person hands woman girl

      Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

      Fact: There is no evidence that people who are religious are less likely than anyone else to suffer from depression or to take their own life. Suicide is not about religion, or the lack thereof. It’s also not about morality. It’s about psychological suffering so deep few can understand.

      Most suffers don’t want to expose loved ones to the dark thoughts plaguing their minds, even though that is exactly what they should do. My mother tried her best to share her thoughts and feelings with us and when she did it was truly terrifying. And we were only peeking over the edge of the abyss, not staring into it upon waking every day. Of course, she had many reasons for living and often remarked on them, as did Anthony Bourdain.

      So we’ve established that the lack of God in one’s life isn’t the cause of the rise in suicides. So what is? Despite suicide being the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, the National Institutes of Health spent more money researching dietary supplements than it did suicide and suicide prevention. Why aren’t we dedicating more resources to fight suicide? The answer is stigma.

      What can you do to help? Stop with the judgment. Suicide has nothing to do with personal weakness, selfishness, or lack of faith. So just stop it already. Even better – correct others when you hear similar negative messages. It is not at all helpful in preventing suicides. In fact, it does just the opposite. It adds to the despair of the afflicted. Stop being part of of the problem.

      Posted in blog, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Anthony Bourdain, depression, Kate Spade, psychological suffering, stigma, suicide, suicide and God, suicide and religion, suicide prevention
    • Suicide on the Rise, Why?

      Posted at 4:10 am by jillprouty7, on June 9, 2018
      blur box capsules close up

      Photo by Julie Viken on Pexels.com

      The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) published a report today showing a 30% increase in U.S. suicide rates since 1999. The deaths this week of designer Kate Spade and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain put an exclamation point on the issue. What exactly is going on?

      The CDC made a point to distinguish the many reasons for suicide. Although suicide is typically understood to be associated with a known mental illness, many happen without warning – 54%. The report found that these people had other issues including relationship problems, health problems, financial problems, or some other crisis that precipitated the event.

      I’m not convinced you can completely separate the two. A crisis in someone’s life can be a trigger for depression, which is a mental illness; but, I think the point is that 54% of the time a suicide happens without any warning. Which brings me to the next point: guns. According to the report, guns were the most common method for suicide, used by almost half of the people who died. Suicide tends to be a rash decision, a brief moment of utter despair that will pass given enough time. Not having immediate access to a lethal weapon can give a desperate person time to call someone. We must find common ground between the Second Amendment and the health and safety of our loved ones.

      My mother’s suicide was the type resulting from a known mental illness for which she was seeking treatment, major depression. She is proof that knowing about the illness and getting every treatment available doesn’t guarantee survival. The typical treatment for depression is SSRI therapy (Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc.), which has shown to be ineffective for many. SSRI’s have been available for 30+ years now. Perhaps this report highlights the ineffectiveness of the SSRI revolution?

      I’ve blogged about the recent trials being done using psilocybin “magic” mushrooms, LSD, and other psychedelic drugs for the treatment of depression and other mental illnesses that are showing great results. The back to back (to back) news this week highlights that FDA approval of these drugs can’t come soon enough.

      Posted in blog, books, drug therapies, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Anthony Bourdain, antidepressants, CDC, depression, Kate Spade, mental health, mental illness, psilocybin, psychedelics, SSRI, suicide
    • How to Change Your Mind

      Posted at 4:43 am by jillprouty7, on June 6, 2018

      pollan

      Imagine being able break from from the destructive thinking that characterizes major depression and other mental illnesses. A brain re-set in a single therapy session with a lasting power of up to six months. In How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence (Penguin, 2018), Michael Pollan likens the depressed human brain as being a snow covered mountain with well-worn ski tracks on it. After a while, the tracks deepen and the skier is trapped skiing the same slope over and over again. What if a psychedelic “trip” produced by ingesting psilocybin mushrooms or LSD could flatten the entire slope, causing the overused tracks to disappear, freeing the skier to create new paths? Research into the therapy-guided use of these substances is showing promise for sufferers of mental illness, including cases where patients have been resistant to traditional treatments including the use of SSRI’s. FDA approval for the therapeutic use of several psychedelic substances could come as early as 2021. This is exciting news for sufferers of psychic pain as well as their families.

      The key to the success of this kind of treatment, according to Pollan as well as researchers, is that the substance is taken in the presence of a trained therapist who serves as a guide during the experience. Another key feature is the “mystical experience” many patients report afterward that causes them to feel differently about themselves and the world around them.

      grey small mushroom on brown soil

      Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

      In his book, Pollan tries LSD, psilocybin mushrooms, and the crystallized venom of the Sonoran Desert toad. He has what qualifies as a mystical experience after inhaling the vapor of “the toad,” leading him to ask the question: Was what he experienced real or just a drug-induced hallucination?

      Does it matter?

      Posted in blog, books, drug therapies | 3 Comments | Tagged book reviews, depression, major depression, mental health, mental illness, psilocybin, psychedelic drug therapy, psychedelics
    • Psychedelic Drug Therapy – A New Hope

      Posted at 1:54 am by jillprouty7, on May 7, 2018

      pexels-photo-576831.jpegMy mother took her life in 2003 after suffering for months with psychotic depression. This particular type of depression occurs in up to 15% of patients with severe depression and causes symptoms such as hallucinations and paranoia. It is a disease with a high mortality rate for which no FDA approved treatment exists. My mother received the typical treatment: hospitalization, a combination of SSRI’s (Lexapro, then Zoloft) and antipsychotics, and several rounds of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT).

      The hospitalization was helpful in that they were able to keep her safe when she was at her worst. The SSRI’s weren’t so effective, even after eight months of taking them. The antipsychotics worked short-term and helped her relax enough to get something in her stomach.  ECT, although scary at first, was downright miraculous. She would wake up bright-eyed like her old self wondering why she was in a hospital. However, the effects of ECT would wear off within two to three weeks and she’d be right back where she started, but with the extra added bonus of memory loss which caused her even more stress.

      Mifepristone (RU486)

      I nearly drove myself crazy after my mother’s death thinking there was more we could have done for her. I remember reading about a study being done at Stanford using the abortion pill mifepristone (RU-486) and thinking she would have been a good candidate. If only I had been doing my homework while she was alive. If only…

      Continued research over the last 17 years has revealed that cortisol, a hormone released during times of significant stress, is extremely elevated in psychotically depressed patients. It seems their sustained levels of cortisol create a chronic stress reaction that can lead to psychosis. Because mifepristone can rapidly bring down elevated cortisol levels, it has shown promise in treating additional conditions caused by elevated levels of cortisol including alcoholism and substance abuse, anorexia nervosa, ulcers, diabetes, Parkinson’s, multiple sclerosis, and Alzheimer’s. However, doctors cannot provide this drug to their patients in an off-label manner without special approval on a case by case basis through the Compassionate Use Program because of the restrictive use the FDA agreed to in order to appease the anti-abortion opponents who threatened its approval.

      Psychedelic Drugs

      pollanFor decades, psychedelics such as psilocybin (magic mushrooms) and LSD were used in clinical studies, but were never able to gain any traction after they were classified as Schedule I drugs in the 70’s. They were all but abandoned for medical use in the 80’s with the advent of SSRI’s like Prozac, but psychedelics are making a comeback.

      In two phases of an FDA-approved trial, patients with post-traumatic stress disorder responded better to MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly) assisted psychotherapy than to talk therapy alone. In fact, MDMA assisted psychotherapy is expected to be approved by the FDA by 2021. Researchers have also experimented with LSD and psilocybin to treat anxiety in terminally ill patients.

      I’m especially excited by the news that ketamine (Special K), known as surgical anesthetic and party drug, has shown fast acting results for treatment resistant depression. While SSRI medications can take weeks to start working, patients treated with ketamine report relief in as little as one to two hours. Johnson & Johnson plans to file for FDA approval of a nasal spray version within a year.

      Psychedelic drug therapy is going to be the biggest story in psychiatry in over 30 years. If you want to learn more, I recommend Lauren Slater’s Blue Dreams: The Science and the Story of the Drugs that Changed Our Minds (Little, Brown, 2018).

      I’m downright giddy that Michael Pollan (The Omnivore’s Dilemma) has written a new book called How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence that is due out on May 15, 2018, but is already a bestseller on Amazon. The book grew out of the reporting he did for a 2015 article about psychedelic psychotherapy in the New Yorker, called “The Trip Treatment.” Given the popularity of Pollan’s books, I’m hopeful his insights will help psychedelic drug therapy gain mainstream acceptance and fast track them for FDA-approved medical use.

      Posted in blog, books, drug therapies | 4 Comments | Tagged abortion pill, antidepressants, depression, Drug Therapy, drug trials, ketamine, mental illness, mifepristone, psychedelic drug therapy, psychedelics, psychiatry, psychotic depression
    • Book Review: Imagine Me Gone

      Posted at 5:22 am by jillprouty7, on April 23, 2018

      imagineLovers of literature know that great fiction always reveals truth. It enables us to see ourselves and our experiences, both good and bad, within the world at large without fear of personal exposure. When I read the publisher’s summary of Adam Haslett’s Imagine Me Gone (Little, Brown, 2016), I recognized a family like much like my own and knew it was a book I had to read.

      Imagine Me Gone explores the devastating toll of mental illness on both the sufferers and the loved ones who care for them. The opening scene is a flashback to a death, hinting at a suicide. The feeling of dread made me put the book down for a couple of days until I felt ready to forge on. I’m glad I did.

      Patriarch John suffers from bouts of major depression, something his girlfriend Margaret only becomes aware of when he is hospitalized during their engagement. She decides to stay the course and marry him anyway. Their marriage produces three children: Michael, Celia, and Alec, who each learn to cope in their own way with their father’s mood disorder and the emotional and financial strain it puts on their family. The eldest, Michael, is plagued by severe anxiety as well, which intensifies as he enters adulthood.

      Haslett tells the story in alternating points of view by all five members of the family. It isn’t an easy read, but his writing is as real as it gets when describing the family’s anguish. At its core, Imagine Me Gone considers the lasting effects of mental illness and suicide on a family as they attempt to move past it and find meaning in their lives.

      Imagine Me Gone was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and long-listed for the National Book Award and the Andrew Carnegie Medal.

      Posted in blog, books | 0 Comments | Tagged book reviews, depression, family, mental illness, suicide
    • Exercise as therapy

      Posted at 4:06 am by jillprouty7, on October 11, 2016

      Over the past two years I’ve become somewhat of a fitness enthusiast. While exercise, combined with a healthy diet, has helped me lose over 100 pounds (see my profile at Weight Watchers), the greatest benefit has been an improved sense of well-being.

      img_20160910_180855While SSRI’s (often combined with psychotherapy) are often the first line of defense in the treatment of depression, exercise can also be effective for mild to moderate depression – especially in combination with the former. Exercise may even play a vital role in prevention the disease. For those with a personal or family history of depression, this ought to make you sit up and take notice.

      Experts have known for many years that exercise enhances the action of endorphins, those feel-good chemicals thought to produce the “runner’s high.” Another theory is that exercise stimulates the neurotransmitter norepinephrine, which may directly improve mood.

      How often or intensely you need to exercise to reap the benefits is not clear, but for general health, most experts advise getting thirty minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week. Think brisk walking. (Remember to check with your doctor before beginning an exercise program!)

      img_20160915_113531280Personally, I prefer more vigorous exercise, especially on those days when life presents challenges. A good workout clears my head and I’m better able to relax afterward. When I’m having a tough day, I can’t wait to get to the gym or head out for a run.

      The benefits of exercise are endless. I think I’m just “better” as a whole. Better able to handle stress, better able to accomplish tasks, better and more attentive to my family.

      Check out this illustration of your body on exercise at Bright Side.

       

       

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged depression, exercise, fitness, mental health, weight loss, weight watchers, well-being
    • Stigma caused by archaic bunk

      Posted at 3:37 pm by jillprouty7, on September 26, 2016

      bunk:

      noun, informal
         1) Humbug; nonsense.

      Synonyms: Baloney, hogwash, bull, hooey.

      My kids and I love to read together at bedtime. It’s fun and it often sparks meaningful conversation. Right now we’re reading The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain. In it, Twain’s characters relate stories of people being burned at the stake for witchcraft. One story was of a woman who was accused of poisoning a man who died shortly after she visited him. (He was deathly ill already.) I pointed out to my kids that the conclusion drawn from the man’s death was pure 16th century “bunk.”

      1265152_638749559489030_365342525_oMost historians agree that witchcraft, demonology, and possessions survived as an explanation for the unexplained, including mental illness, right up until the 18th century; however, you might be surprised to learn that even in today’s 21st century world, some still attribute mental illness, especially depression, to being under the influence of Satan. That’s right, pure archaic bunk.

      As I’ve said again and again (and again, and again, and again…), depression is an illness. Satan has no more influence over someone who has depression than someone who has cancer. Bringing Satan, demon possession, moral weakness, or lack of faith into the conversation about depression, or any other mental illness, further stigmatizes sufferers and their families.

      Three or four years ago I heard Rosalynn Carter speak at the Carter Center about her work on behalf of the mentally ill. She said that much had changed in the 40+ years she’d spent as an advocate, especially in the area of treatment. The one thing that hadn’t changed? The stigma.

       

      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged depression, major depression, mental illness, rosalynn carter, stigma, suicide prevention month
    • Can suicide be prevented?

      Posted at 4:22 pm by jillprouty7, on September 19, 2016
      14310306_10210161721620592_6530432371928075604_o

      Butterfly release at SPAN-GA Walk in Newnan, 9/10/16. Photo by Maggie Barrett.

      It always disturbs me when I see well-meaning suicide prevention advocates make statements such as, “Suicide is 100% preventable.” Why? Because it simply isn’t true.

      I get it. I used to be one of those people too. When I’d read of someone who had killed themselves I’d say things like, “Why didn’t they get the help they needed? Where were their families?”

      Here is the truth: Many suicides are preventable. There is no doubt about that. However, sometimes a person can have all the best treatments: the latest and greatest meds; in-patient and/or out-patient treatment (or a combination thereof); electroconvulsive therapy; as well as a great support team at home. And it can still happen.

      Up to 10% of major depression sufferers do not respond to treatment. That isn’t to say that we should give up on them. We need to be ever-vigilant with those at risk. But we also need to be careful not to assign blame to anybody when suicide does happen.

      Making unqualified statements is a disservice to survivors of suicide. Grieving the suicide of a loved one is like walking through a land mine – the second guessing, the regrets. I’ve been there. In the months following my mother’s suicide, I followed every alternate path trying to come up with a different ending, but I kept coming back to this: Unless you put someone in a straight jacket, lock them up, and force feed them intravenously, there are no guarantees.

      To survivors of suicide – I think I have a somewhat unique perspective as my mother was conscious for almost 24 hours after she fatally injured herself and was able to share a few things, most importantly this: It isn’t your fault.

      Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments | Tagged depression, grief, mental illness, suicide, suicide prevention month, survivors of suicide
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