memory | Jill Prouty

Tag: memory
- Memories Old and New
  
  Posted at 6:54 pm by jillprouty7, on April 15, 2018
  
  Are you hanging on to meaningful objects such as old letters or photos, costume jewelry, fabric pieces, and the like? Things that have no real purpose anymore, but you can’t bear to throw them away because of the memories attached to them? It’s time to pull those treasured objects out and think about ways of repurposing them for use in the present. A great resource for ideas is a wonderful book by Allison Gilbert, Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive. On the right is what Gilbert calls a memory magnet. I made it using a copy of an old photo (never use an original) of my grandparents and a 3 x 3 clear epoxy sticker square. So simple! The hardest part was cutting the photo to size. I keep the magnet on a file cabinet in my office at work and it makes me happy every time I look at it.
  
  I have a friend who hired a local jewelry maker to create a necklace for her incorporating old pins and mismatched earrings from various family members who had passed. The result was a one-of-a-kind conversation piece that she wears often.
  
  What objects have you been hanging onto that have meaning?
  
  Posted in blog | 2 Comments | Tagged crafting, crafts, family, memory, memory crafts, repurposing
- World Suicide Prevention Day
  
  Posted at 9:21 pm by jillprouty7, on September 13, 2016
  
  September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day and I marked the occasion this year by participating in a walk sponsored by Georgia Suicide Prevention Action Nework (SPAN-GA) in Newnan. The funds raised for the event support Camp SOS, a camp for families who have lost a loved one to suicide. I know from experience that grief after a suicide can be isolating. Friends and family often run for the hills, not knowing what to do or say. When I read about the event in our local newspaper I felt called to participate. I was glad I did.
  
  I met some wonderful people at the walk, including a little girl (and her grandmother) who had attended Camp SOS. Grandma said the camp had been a blessing to her granddaughter and helped bring her out of her “shell” after her father’s suicide. Her testimony was exactly what I needed to hear.
  
  Memory tiles.
  
  One of my favorite activities at the event was making a memory tile. They supplied the 4 x 4 tiles and Mod Podge. All we had to bring was a photo. I used a copy of a black and white photo of my mother at 5 or 6 years old. (Walgreens makes 4 x 4 squares. I ordered online and it was ready for pickup in an hour.)
  
  The walk itself was about 2.5 miles. Great for all ages. At the conclusion of the walk, organizers handed out envelopes containing butterflies that were released as part of the closing ceremony. My butterfly took its time circling my head, dipping in between others standing nearby, only to come back to me again before finally flying off for good. A beautiful morning – one I won’t soon forget.
  
  Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments | Tagged depression, grief, memory, mental illness, suicide
- On motherhood, mental illness, and the importance of memory
  
  Posted at 8:11 pm by jillprouty7, on August 16, 2016
  
  I’ve spent the last week or so creating this new website of mine. When at last I thought I was satisfied with the overall look of it, I realized it was time to put pen to paper – or fingers to keyboard, in this case. What do I say? Where did it all begin? I could say it began in 1993-94 when my mother floated the idea of she and I co-writing a book about her experiences with major depression. She had nearly died in the Spring of 1992 after an intentional overdose. In fact, the doctors said she should have been dead, but she woke up after three days in a coma – and had a story to tell.
  
  We talked in vague terms about the book. She thought I had a knack for writing. I demurred feeling that my writing skills were mediocre at best, but we kept the dialogue open. Maybe someday.
  
  Fast forward ten years. Mom’s depression comes back, and with a vengeance. We thought we had seen the worst in 1992, but it turns out we had not. This time she does not survive. I was five months pregnant at the time with her first grandchild. I remember talking to a well-meaning friend over the phone a week or so after I had returned to work and I’ll never forget what she said to me.
  
  “The baby never has to know about Grandma.”
  
  I was stunned. Of course I would want my child to know his grandmother. Not only was mental illness a part of who my mother was, it was – and still is – an important part of our family’s medical history.
  
  I kept a notebook on my bedside table those first few months after her death. My writing was raw and painful, full of rage at times, but getting it out just before bedtime helped clear my head for sleep. The process would start over again every morning – realizing that what happened really did happen and wasn’t a bad dream. I never thought I’d see the other side. But as the months wore on and I became a mother myself, the intensity of my grief faded and a new normal began.
  
  Then one day, when my oldest was four, he padded out to the kitchen where I was loading the dishwasher and asked, “Do I have a grandma?”
  
  That’s when I knew it was time to tell my mother’s story for her.
  
  Mom – Summer 2002 in Maine, the year before her death.
  
  Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments | Tagged depressed mothers, depression, major depression, memoir, memory, mental illness, mother's depression, mothers and daughters, suicide, suicide prevention month
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